I’m feeling a tiny bit nostalgic as I reflect on the fact that I’m now 60, yes, the big ‘six oh’ – who would have thought it! However, as I look back on the photos across the decades leading up to this amazing milestone, it’s the old black and white ones from my childhood which give me the most pleasure.
Mum and dad used to take my brother and me down to the local photography studio and we would be made to pose whilst he snapped away and we were encouraged to smile at the puppet or whatever prop was in vogue at the time. The parents would get 3 or 4 images to choose from, but most poignantly, mum and dad could never afford the final photos so made do with the proofs. The few originals I do have have ‘proof’ embossed across them (the equivalent to today’s watermarks on the likes of Shutterstock or Getty Images).
I absolutely treasure these photos and the memories they arouse. When people ask, ‘what would you seize from your house in the event of a fire’, it would definitely be these photos as although I’ve snapped them with my iPhone as an ‘insurance’ against such a disaster, it’s these old-fashioned ones which really make my heart swell with love. Obviously with my brother and I not having children of our own, these images are the last in the line of the ‘core family’, which saddens me somewhat. But having made it to 60, I’m not going to be downbeat.
I’m grateful that I snuck into the Baby Boomer generation (1963 if you are wondering), where we were allowed to have a proper old-fashioned childhood. Our house was opposite a huge common which was boundaried by major roads on 3 sides and which also housed the local municipal golf course. We (my brother, local friends and I) roamed that land, knowing we should never cross the roads or interfere with the golf and boy, what fun we had. We were like the Famous Five, going out on adventures every day during the long, hot summer holidays, but numbers would vary depending on who was available and it was often only myself and my older brother (only by 18 months so we’ve always been close). I think this is where I first fell in love with the great outdoors, it felt that the whole universe was at our disposal.
When I was 8, we moved further into the city, to the old Coach House, and this opened up a new universe. More playmates were suddenly available because of the proximity to schools and we played out in the streets from dawn till dinner time, seldom being late for fear of being in trouble. We knew the rules and feared the wrath of mum (dad was always easier to talk round)! We toured the neighbourhoods on our bikes and in the case of myself, my brother and Neal from over the road, we were allowed to take our yellow and black dingy down to the river and play out all day paddling up and down and playing pirates. Health & Safety would have a duck fit today!!! I also remember with fondness the go-karts our dad helped us build, but I am less fond of my brother for making me always sit on the back and do the leg work. He said he had to steer as he was the eldest! I can vividly recall the bumps and bruises which were part of our rites of passage.
Our parents were adamant that we should have 3 key life skills – independence, be able to swim and learn to drive – and I’m so very grateful for all 3 which have supported me well throughout my adventuresome life.
My ride through the decades has sometimes been a rollercoaster, sometimes a breeze, but always somewhat surprising. Whilst I’ve not been a big one for the ‘3 year plan’, I usually reach the end of each decade not quite ending up where I thought I might be. I certainly never expected to still be single at 60, but here I am, solo and satisfied that I suck the very best out of every day; I live by my values of integrity, authenticity, trustworthiness and kindness – or at least I try to.
I remember when my mum turned 40, I thought she was so ‘old’ and at 50 I definitely thought she was over the hill. She wasn’t, she’s still with us and at 84 is still the family matriarch, cracking the whip and reminding us that she’s the boss. Today’s 60 certainly has a different feel to it which for me has included strong influences of fashion, travel, living healthily, making the most of choice and opportunities, and having an inspiring career.
Major illnesses aside because I was lucky to eventually get the right treatments (thank you @nhs), I’ve been blessed with good health and a fairly optimistic nature. I’m always up for an adventure and can be very spontaneous which sometimes lands me into trouble. However, she who dares….!
I’ve also been blessed with some amazing friends who have stuck by me, sometimes for decades, but I also have new friends I’ve collected along the way. I’m super grateful for their love, their sage advice and unstinting support. When you don’t have a family of your own, your friends become your guiding lights and as we age, and certainly sometimes don’t see each other as much as we used it, I know we are always there for each other.
I can’t wait to enjoy this year and the beginning of my 7th decade. To ensure that I reach it in the best way possible, I will be prioritising my health and fitness. If this sounds selfish, think about it. You can’t pour from any empty cup and, whilst my parents will always be a very high priority, I need to be as healthy and as fit as possible to be able to care for them.
I’ve decided not to celebrate this awesome milestone with a 60th party, but am having a year of saying ‘yes’. My diary is also brimming with exciting events from holidays to Jordan, Paris and Verona (more to follow); meeting up with friends – new and old – seeing the family and attending concerts & operas galore. I’m also going to my first Festival weekend in a campervan – who says my best years are behind me? Certainly not me!
My aim is to reach my death bed with no regrets. In 2012, the Guardian published the top 5 regrets of the dying:
- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
- I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
- I wish I had let myself be happier.
Whilst I might wish I had seen this joyous way of living sooner, I can honestly say that 4 of those do not now apply to me/my life and whilst I’m working super hard right now, it’s because I do now actually have a 3 year plan and I’m happily working hard to enable me to achieve it.
What are you doing right now to ensure that you reach your deathbed without regrets?
With love
Julia, AKA Just Me.
Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash