I don’t know about you, but I have an eclectic music palette which has supported me through all sorts of emotions over the years and many tracks have the power to instantly transport me back to the exact place and feeling associated with a particular song.
At the moment, I’m rediscovering U2’s ‘the Best of 1980 – 1990’ and the power of those songs, mainly because I’m also enjoying Bono’s autobiography ‘Surrender 40 songs, One Story’
Being a child of the 60’s & 70’s I can identify with many of Bono’s musical references, the influx of punk being a case in point, but I was never edgy enough to be a punk, I was definitely a new romantic thanks to Adam Ant and Spandau Ballet or if I’m going to be honest, because of Tony Hadley – be still my beating vagina!
But back to U2 and why they have figured in 2 of my pivotal experiences. Being a fan of U2, I remember slipping their CD into my car stereo on my drive north on a cold and a particularly dark drive up to the motherland, AKA Sheffield, on the 29th December, 1999. I was driving up to Sheffield, the scene of my misspent, but very enjoyable early 20s, to join my ex and his new girlfriend to celebrate the Millennium. Geordie Lad (GL) and I are still friends today despite, or possibly because of, the fact that he was undoubtedly a very bad influence in a very good way during my party days in the late 80s in Sheffield. We have so many fun memories, not least the raw music and culture of that era where both thought we were ’cool’, I was rocking ra-ra dresses and tumbling curls, and GL was rocking a BMW soft top and designer suits. (He also had hair back then!)
We’d often be out in the Sheffield nightclubs, after all we had met in Josephines, the most upmarket of them all, so it seemed only naturally to repeatedly return to the scene of the crime (of passion). In some respects, it’s surprising that we have stayed in touch but in others less so, as bonds forged in in the 80s in the steel city, run strong and deep. We’ve been there for each other through thick and thin and I know that if either of us needed the other now, we would be there in an instant. I even attended his wedding and salute his very patient wife, who’s a much better partner for him than I could ever be. And it was against this backdrop of friendship, forged decades earlier that he’d invited me, his single again friend, to join them to celebrate the Millennium.
I can vividly remember that drive up to Sheffield, singing my heart out to U2 and crying my eyes out to such emotional anthems as:
- ‘I still haven’t found what I’m looking for’
- ‘Pride (in the Name of Love)
- ‘With or without you’
- ‘When Love comes to Town’
- ‘All I want is you’
The latest flame of the moment had obviously flickered and died although I now struggle to remember who that might even have been. I was most probably crying for feeling like a failure yet again. Those were the days when even I perceived my rotating singleism as a failure, oh how times have changed! The Millennium eve passed in an alcoholic party haze and a good time was had by all – or so I’m told…
Fast forward 17 and a half years, and I’m living in my new pad in Windsor, having just decided to resign my job after selling the Agency and travel the world for 6 months and was in a pretty buoyant mood. I was going about my business one Friday morning, when I heard that U2 were performing at Twickenham the next day in the ‘Joshua Tree tour’. Whilst I’d always liked U2 and often listened to them in the gym, I was never a die-hard fan, but for some reason, I simply had to go. I texted a few friends to see if they too were interested, but no one was available. However, determined that I would go, I googled a ticket resale site and myself bagged a seat, shrugging off the fear of going to my first concert alone. By this time, I was used to travelling solo and attending the cinema and art galleries alone, so I reasoned going to a concert alone wouldn’t be so difficult either.
From Windsor, I knew I could get there by train as Twickenham is the home of British rugby, (another guilty pleasure of mine), so could also enjoy a drink or two.
When I got there, the stadium was humming – I hadn’t realised that the warm up act was Noel Gallagher and the High Flying Birds – not a bad starter for 10! It was a hot summer’s evening and I was ready to rock although I did feel a tad alone amongst the masses. On finding my seat – facing the band – I found I was at the side of 2 chaps, who kindly stood up to let me through. They asked the inevitable question, ‘where’s your friend’, and me being me, I replied that I was alone and didn’t have any friends although accompanied it with a big grin and a cheeky wink to show that I wasn’t serious. Behind my shades I portrayed a bravery than I didn’t quite feel, but my bravado obviously worked, because they promptly decided that they would therefore adopt me and kept me entertained whilst we waited for U2 to arrive. The sun was beating down as the evening crept in and I soaked up the atmosphere that only music fans coming together to celebrate their heroes can create. To further cement our new found friendship, when the chaps returned from the bar they proudly presented me with a pint of lager in a commemorative U2 pint pot.
Now anyone who knows me would know that this presented a challenge. A: I don’t drink pints and B: I don’t drink beer of any kind, I’m severely gluten intolerant, but I was so moved by their kindness, that I just thanked them and got stuck in . Their good deed meant more than they could ever have known and any fears of being there alone just dissipated. I decided to deal with the inevitable gluten poisoning consequences later although regretted not saying anything about my allergy as they insisted on refilling my glass every time they filled up!
The concert was off the scale of ‘epicness’ – the warm balmy evening, my new friends, anthemic music and performances of legendary status all consolidated to make a celebration of happy memories which I cherish until this day. Even now I can’t hear U2’s music without smiling about that evening.
I guess the moral of this story, if one were needed, is carpe diem. Step outside your comfort zones occasionally and you might just be surprised at what’s waiting for you on the other side.
Being single is not a reason to not do something. You can do anything if you really want to, life is yours for the taking. I’d like to encourage everyone to take 2023 by the scruff of the neck and follow my lead in saying ‘yes’ to new adventures even , or especially, if you are solo. Don’t hide behind singleism, you might just miss out on some of life’s most amazing experiences. So, with apologies to U2, please join me in this refrain: ‘If I still haven’t found what I’m looking for, I’m going to do it anyway, with or without you’.
With love
Julia, AKA Just Me.